'Remember When' is the Lowest Form of Conversation (12.11.2009)

How unequivocally strange
To stand before someone who once owned you completely
And recognize nothing of them at all

I was utterly unprepared
For the quick flash of the familiar
In your eyes

‘Remember when’ is futile—agonizing
Letting go, just to watch it all disappear into the ether
As if it never was
Is harder still

Do you remember….?
A dozen years of hope and love and sweat and dreams
Four thousand nights spent in one anothers’ arms
Four thousand days arriving home to your smile

You once walked into a storm
To proclaim your love for me, writ large
The first of so very many of my storms
You weathered

I donned the dress I swore I’d never wear
Wreathed myself in the vestments of
A life I never wanted
It was so much more than I could have dreamed

How ironic—how prophetic
The omission, the inscription that bound us
((See, I will not forget you))
I have written your name on my heart

The snapshots are all boxed up
Hidden in the far corner of the highest shelf
Cast aside with all the many things
That are not to be remembered

It is difficult to hold onto a mirage
Just as you draw near, try to grasp it
It collapses into insubstantial shimmers

They say the price of love is loss
I have gladly borne the cost
But it grows wearisome
To be the sole bearer of this historical record

I once kissed you, told you I loved you
Walked out our door
Were that I could so easily say goodbye
To the ghost of the boy that I once loved.